Blog (and life!) Update
Photo by @lenneek on Unsplash
Hi friends!
It’s been a long time since I updated the blog with anything other than uploading sermons. A lot has happened since my last update, and, as you might expect, that’s why I’ve taken so much time to update.
In February 2022, the beloved senior pastor who I worked with for 3.5 years retired after serving our church for 13 years. That was a big change for my congregation, leaving one full-time pastor (me) and one part-time pastor (my dear colleague). The search for an interim minister was long, challenging, at times fraught, and it brought us an interim that unfortunately did not work out. The interim arrived in July and was gone in November. In August that year, my colleague who was serving part-time retired to pursue other opportunities. All of that transition left me as the only pastor of a church that was used to having 3 pastors—it was a big and daunting task!
I served on my own for 10 months, as we searched for a co-pastor who would be a partner in ministry with me. Those 10 months were HARD. Some lay leaders stepped up graciously and generously, but the expectations of the congregation and the tasks that had to be done were still there. This solo time tested my patience, my resolve, and my call. There were moments during this in-between time when I doubted what I was doing, that I was making any difference, thinking I should throw in the towel. There were moments when the keen awareness of all that I was not doing (because there simply was no time) weighed so heavily on me, I felt like I was betraying my call. And there were moments of beauty and collaboration as well, which kept me going.
The search for a co-pastor was also difficult, as the committee and the church had to wrestle with some pre-conceived notions about the identity of the ideal candidate could/would/should be. Unfortunately, ingrained sexism reared its ugly head, showing my well-meaning, progressive church that sexism is not in the past. Some folks assumed that we were not going to be considering a woman for the role because we “already had one,” and they had the same ideas about the age of a candidate, as well. This was really hard for me to hear from people I had been serving for five years, people who I thought were progressive enough to embrace two women ministers as lead pastors. When the final candidate turned out to be someone with similar demographic identities to myself, the sexism turned up a notch, with people openly questioning how two white millennial women could possibly bring diversity to ministry. My heart broke a bit each time my beloved congregants painted us with a broad brush, neglecting to see us as whole people with different life experiences and personalities. It brought into focus the question, “if they’re treating us like this, as ordained ministers and their pastors, who and what else are we painting with such a broad brush?” I knew that question was there for other topics and identities, and yet it became even more relevant as this process went on.
And did I mention I was planning a wedding at the same time this was all happening? My beloved (now) husband Scotty and I announced our engagement in October 2022 and were married in July 2023, in the midst of all the chaos of solo pastoring a mid-size urban church and discerning life steps. Wedding planning is A WHOLE THING and though I love officiating other people’s weddings, planning and carrying out my own was exhausting.
But! The weekend was GORGEOUS. If you’ve ever been to the Pacific Northwest in the summer, you know how gorgeous it was. The weather was perfect (a little warm, actually) and dry and our out-of-town family and friends were very impressed. The day of the wedding was absolutely beautiful, and Scotty and I had a wonderful time…and I remember a lot of the day, which is such a gift. The whole time our family and friends were in town was deeply meaningful, as I asked for help and people to witness this momentous occasion, and folks showed up for us.
photo by Anchor & Lace (aka the best photographers ever!)
My church was generous in giving me extra time off this year so that I could celebrate my wedding, as well as rest and recover from the chaotic couple years (or 5 years) of ministry. This time off was so important for me, making it possible for me to take time off before and after our wedding, do a brief honeymoon, and visit my grandma who was not able to travel to the wedding. We also were able to spend some time with friends and family and just enjoy living in the PNW in the summer. It was wonderful and important.
Other exciting notes: people continued to find meaning in the book I co-authored with the Rev. Claire Brown, New Directions for Holy Questions: Progressive Christian Theology for Families (2022). I wrote some children and youth-focused curriculum. I contributed to the Young Peacemaker’s Toolbox from the Baptist Peace Fellowship of North America~Bautistas por la Paz. I created a presentation on how pastors and churches can support youth mental health, and shared it with my ABC region. I participated in a learning cohort with the Ministers and Missionaries Benefit Board (MMBB) that uplifts women in ministry and supports them learning about financial wellness. 2023 took us to some fun places as well: Oahu, Puerto Rico, Illinois, Nashville and Victoria BC.
…all this to say: hi! I’m still here. I’m still in ministry. I’m still writing. I’m still learning how to balance being a person with being a pastor, which probably will be a lifelong thing. And I’m learning how to be married, which is a fun and goofy and loving adventure with my sweet husband. I have so much gratitude for the ways I’ve grown over the past couple of years, even if the events that led to that growth were stressful at the time. I feel I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to do right now, which is more than I could want.
Peace,
Rev. Anita
